tbh i don’t why i’m so affected by your words today, you insult me everyday.
“i don’t even have time for myself, why would i make time for you?”
what kind of parent says that.
proves how much you care about me. you said it yourself.
crying myself to sleep because no one loves me
it really bugs me how my dad has been hating on me lately.
like is it necessary to follow me around the fucking house every hour of the day and lecture me about random shit.
you’re such a hypocrite.
like i asked if you move the car out of the driveway so i could play ball.
and you say ya sure just tell me when youre done and i’ll park the car back on the driveway.
so after around 2 hours i come back, chat with you for a few mins, them i go to my room.
5 minutes later you barge into my room and start yelling at me about not telling you to drive the car back in
i tell you oh it’s cuz i forgot
and you start flipping shit saying how i always forget to do stuff and say how i only care about finishing my own things and don’t care about others
and i repeat myself again, it was an accident i just forgot.
and you continue flipping shit and start yelling about stuff i did in the past
so i comment on how you always forget shit when i tell you stuff
and you go so? im human it’s natural to forget things
so i use that excuse too
and you say BUT YOU ALWAYS FORGET AND MAKE EXCUSES AND LIE
so what the fuck.
then an hour later i remind you about my exam days
and again you flip shit on how i didnt tell you earlier
but i did.
so i was like see. i told you last week but you still forgot.
and you say I DONT EVEN HAVE TIME FOR MYSELF WHY WOULD I MAKE TIME FOR YOU. YOUR THINGS ARE THE LAST THING I WOULD WANT TO SPEND TIME REMEMBERING.
and that was that.
those words hurt.
I don’t know why, but I get super pissed every time I see you.
I don’t want to think about you, and I thought I could finally live life without having you occupying my thoughts 24/7.
Maybe I’m pms-ing.
Maybe I’m still not over you.
IDK MAN THIS IS SO GAY… like I know I don’t have feelings for you anymore because LOL other things ahaha
But I don’t know. Maybe I’m just pissed in general. Maybe I’m pissed because that you kind of contributed to the extreme downhill of my life. To anyone who’s reading this, don’t worry though, I’m not insane and I’m not a serial killer. LOL
Maybe losing you was like losing some sort of happiness in my life… okay scratch that. That was so cheesy I almost puked. BUT YEA YOU UNDERSTAND.
I don’t know. I feel like life has been really unfair to me lately, but I don’t want to be selfish. Because there’s people who are a thousand times unluckier than me and would wish to have my life.
And I don’t know… everything seems to be falling apart… family, friends, grades… LIKE MAN WHY DOES THIS SHIT HAVE TO ATTACK ME ALL AT ONCE.
Tbh I really wouldn’t mind eating lunch by myself next year because maybe I can like go home or something, JK TOO FAR. If I had a car I would, and ya still need my G1 but I’ve been a major loaft.
I feel like the people around me these days have been going through rough times too, not that I’m too inconsiderate to ask, but I feel that in our group we have different amount of trust levels towards certain people. Yea. Is it just me who feels obliged to eat with our lunch group everyday? Not that I don’t want to eat with you guys, but like it gets kind of boring. And everyone’s like leaving… What is this LOL. But not like I’d have anywhere else to go but ahaha… I kind of want to move schools, have a fresh start kind of thing.
I’m supposed to be doing English atm, but fuck that.
Why do I procrastinate so much now. I’M ACTUALLY BECOMING BAD.
Do you guys see the effects of hyper-parenting now? Hah. Not as good as you thought it’d be right.
Sorry I shouldn’t blame my problems and mental issues on other people lololol.
Idk. I’m just tired.
That sums up what I want to say and what I feel.
Just plain tired.
like fuck you i give you everything you asked for
and you can’t even give me a childhood
my life is over LOL